christmas lights

In the past, I have never felt a lack of Christmas spirit. Usually I am already thinking about decorating the tree before Thanksgiving has even arrived and planning out what cookies I want to bake to give away and going through old Christmas music. That's why when Thanksgiving came and went this year and another week passed and I hadn't even once contemplated any of these things, I began to wonder if I was ever going to feel any Christmas spirit at all. Even in spite of the fact that every time I went to the store I was accosted by snowmen and reindeer and flashing lights, I admit I was sort of hoping that I might be able to just slip by it and step into the New Year without Santa being the wiser.

It's funny; when you're in the spirit of the Holidays, it's fun. But when you're not ready for it yet, it's really annoying that everyone is just looking for an excuse to tack red and green glitter onto everything you see and play the same old songs over and over. It's like Christmas threw up all over them and you're trying desperately to hold your breath and get by without noticing - but it's impossible because the stench is inescapable. It clings to your clothes even after you've made it home, showered twice, and are hiding in the back of your closet, shivering.

I was doing a REALLY good job of avoiding most of it. Because why should I put up tinsel and add holiday-friendly sprinkles to my cookies and wear snowflake earrings if I don't feel like it? Who slammed their gavel down and decreed that I had to participate in this nonsense? The year went by so freaking fast that it seems like it was just last Christmas for crying out loud. I was even considering sending a proposal to the board of Holiday directors requesting that we only celebrate it every three years. Then it would actually feel like a whole year had passed since the last one. Great idea, right?

Then a few days ago I was in desperate need of some exercise. I put on my hat and gloves and three layers (as if I need to be constantly reminded that I'm not in a perfect warm paradise any more) and headed out to go for a night walk. Aside from the fact that it was freaking freezing in southern California, it was a really nice. The streets were quiet and the moon and six stars were out.

And then I saw them.

Christmas lights! Everywhere! Twinkling red, green, gold, and white. Icicle and snowflake shapes. Reindeer and snowmen lit up on people's front lawns. Christmas trees glowing in living room windows. Santa clauses and holiday trains and wreaths. People who had strung a million glowing vines across their roof and posted rows of giant candy canes along the sidewalk and set them to the 'flash on and off all night long' setting as if to say, "This is a FESTIVE house!!!! No humbugs here!!!"

That's when I felt a sharp pinch somewhere on my left shoulder blade, and I let out a scream. I whirled around to find the Christmas Spirit Bug laughing evilly as he zoomed away on iridescent candy cane dusted air, the sound of echoing laughter and jingle bells fading into the cold night. I WAS BITTEN!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

I raced home and grabbed my camera, turned around and returned to the scene of the crime. Click, click, click, click. It was completely hopeless. Pretty soon my memory card was filled with evidence. All I wanted to do was make gingerbread cookies, sing Christmas carols, and drink peppermint hot chocolate.

Damn you, Christmas lights!!! I was doing just fine until you came along and ruined everything.

There was this AMAZING ring around the moon!!! It was the largest I've ever seen. (God must have liked it, cause he put a ring on it... ;) Seriously though... is this not incredible??